This Little Tex Problem
by TunelessLyric
Summary: Season 9 draws to an end. The Epsilon Unit is falling apart. Church finally knows what he has to do to save Tex. Contains language and spoilers. Let me know what you think please.


_This idea has been in my mind for a while now. Doing a piece about Epsilon in the memory unit with Epsilon-Tex. This is him saying goodbye to her at the end of season 9 and contains spoilers. Read at your own risk._

_RoosterTeeth and 343 and Bungie own whatever I don't._

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**This Little Tex Problem**

Hey Tex? There's something I need to tell you. I think it's important that I say this.

No, no Tex. Just three words I couldn't – or just _didn't_ – say before.

No, I'm not going to say _I love you_. God knows I do. _You_ know I do. I guess it's _because_ I love you that I have to say this though. The only other option is to… I guess it's to go down another fucking iteration. I don't think I could live with myself, knowing I'd dragged you behind just for the sake of some old, fucked-up man. For that man and his little Tex problem.

It's taken a lot of remembering to get this – I think – right. Delta always said _Memory is the key_. Now I understand he meant _you_. Sure, I have Alpha's memories, but you _were_ his memories.

Theta said I had to trust myself with this. It's just… I just didn't think it would be so damn hard.

Gamma didn't want me to do it. But I _know_ we can't keep doing this anymore. We've chased all the ghosts we've ever known.

Sigma was the one who realized what the memory unit meant. He was the one to tell me what I had to do to get this time with you.

Alpha wanted more time. Though _he _was the one that knew this had to happen, probably because he's been here before. He wouldn't let this opportunity for an end slip by again.

You know, when I had you – or the Director had Allison, I don't fucking know anymore – I never appreciated what I had. Never thought about what you were to me. But I definitely know now. I'm sorry it took such a long time for me to realize it. I should have years ago.

I should apologize. Never once in my iterations did I _ever_ think about what I could be doing to you. You should know I never meant for you to end up on the run because of Omega. Or get sucked into the Blood Gulch shit. Or get blown up by Donut. Or watch York die by Wyoming's hands. Or be attacked by the Meta for Omega. Or disappear. Or get yanked out of my head and jammed into a robot at the Freelancer facility. Or have to fight Wash and the Meta. Shit, I never wanted you to end up here. But most importantly, I never wanted to resurrect you. Allison died. She gave her life to save humanity. The past is where she belongs. So I'm sorry Tex. Sorry the Director dragged you to life and made all kinds of bullshit happen to you.

I'm sorry I couldn't stop any of it.

So Tex, I want to remember all the good times. Memory is the key. To remember you the way you deserve. As my friend. As the person who could kick my ass without a second thought. As the best girl I could _ever_ hope to love. But as a memory.

I _do_ love you. More than I can say. It is because of that love that I know what needs to be done. What needed to be done from our accidental Day One.

Sometimes, when you let things go, they find their way back to you. But – as fucking hard as it is to say – please don't come back to me. I can't stand the thought of this not working. The thought of it not being over. The thought of seeing you again, knowing I'd _failed_, that we'd have to go down _another_ iteration _again._

So please understand. I can't do this to you anymore.

No Tex, not _I love you_. Even though I do.

Not a goodbye. You hate them too much. I would _never_ say goodbye. Just know that after this, you just won't be here anymore. I will never stop wishing it could be different though.

Who would have thought three little words could be hell just to say. I mean, knowing it really_ is_ an end. I hate it. I hate myself. You can hate me too.

Tex, I won't promise I'll always remember you. I can't. Just please, _please_ understand I wish it didn't have to be like this.

I forget you.

I'm letting go.

I'm setting you free.

Please don't come back to me.

Hate me if you have to, but just… just know I did it because I loved you and I know it isn't right. Keeping you would just make you hurt.

I know you're gone. Because, even though I'm looking right at the spot you were standing a minute ago, you aren't there. It feels like half of me went with you. After all, I'm only right here – alone now – because of you.

_I fucking loved you._ Don't forget that. Because I can't remember anymore.

I'm letting go Allison. I'm setting you free. Rest now.

Tex, I'm done. Enough.

I

Forget

You.


End file.
